


Dare You Not to Fall for Bucky Barnes

by Salvia_G



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fandom Loves Puerto Rico, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-04-30 06:58:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14491347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salvia_G/pseuds/Salvia_G
Summary: Steve blames Tony.  Tony blames Christine Everhart.  Bucky thinks Steve's big mouth is what really got them into this.  Now these two guys from 1930s Brooklyn have to navigate twitter wars, "fake news," and the 24 hour news cycle.Steve Rogers is the worst fake boyfriend ever.  Lucky for him, Bucky Barnes is the best.Secretly, as long as they get to hold hands, neither of them mind.Aka: How Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes fell in love with the help of the Twitterverse.





	1. Twitter Wars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [debwalsh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/debwalsh/gifts).



> [debwalsh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/debwalsh) is the best for patiently awaiting this [fandom loves puerto rico](https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Fandom%20Loves%20Puerto%20Rico/works) fic. She's also a great writer and one of my favorite stucky pals, so go check her out!
> 
> debwalsh requested "stucky fake boyfriends," which (while I love to read!) is a bit out of my writing comfort zone, so I had to stretch my skills in tackling this. I wrote bits and pieces but I wasn't happy with the beginning--the impetus that causes Steve and Bucky to pretend to the world that they're dating. The inspiration that finally gave me the kick I needed was unexpected: the #MeToo movement. Hearing women speak up about how their lives had been affected by sexual harassment and/or assault moved me greatly.
> 
> And much as I love Marvel and especially the MCU, sometimes Marvel's portrayal of women can be problematic. So maybe that's worth talking about too.
> 
> The story is about Steve and Bucky. #MeToo is the unexpected spark that forces the situation.
> 
> (Sidenote: After way too long trying to type up the tweets in this chapter to look like actual tweets with actual pictures--how amazing would that be?--and then even longer failing miserably to paste the images I managed to create into the text, I'm going to have to ask you to use your imaginations. If I didn't give up on that part I was never getting this posted.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christine Everhart makes some accusations on twitter. Some are valid. Some are not.

**Christine Everhart @ChristineEverhart**

Why is sexual harassment everywhere in journalism? Because rape culture is built into the profession. #MeToo

 

**Christine Everhart @ChristineEverhart**

In 2010 my editor at Vanity Fair ordered me to have sex with @TonyStark #Ironman so he’d give me an interview. #MeToo

 

**Tony Stark @TonyStark**

.@ChristineEverhart The way I remember it, I gave you an interview no strings attached. I also slept with you. Polite people say thank you.

 

**Tony Stark @TonyStark**

.@ChristineEverhart I flirt. I joke. I offend people. I don’t refuse interviews even when I don’t like you. I don’t extort sex.

 

**Tony Stark @TonyStark**

Why doesn’t Captain America ever get this shit?

 

**Christine Everhart @ChristineEverhart**

.@Tony Stark may be the one with the bad reputation, but #Captain America’s not as clean as he appears. #AvengersRapeCulture

 

**Christine Everhart @ChristineEverhart**

Like @Tony Stark, Steve Rogers has a habit of inappropriately touching young women in his power. #AvengersRapeCulture #Captain America

 

**Tony Stark @TonyStark**

.@ChristineEverhart LOL You have got to be kidding. PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN

 

**Christine Everhart @ChristineEverhart**

[photograph of Daisy Johnson hugging Steve Rogers.They are standing in front of a diner.]

.@TonyStark Ask and you shall receive. Captain Rogers embracing Daisy Johnson aka Quake after a secret rendezvous. #AvengersRapeCulture

 

**Christine Everhart @ChristineEverhart**

[photograph of Steve Rogers sitting across a nondescript restaurant table from Wanda Maximoff.She is holding a fork to his mouth & appears to be feeding him from her plate.Both are laughing.]

Here’s Rogers on a date with 19 year old Wanda Maximoff.As the leader of the Avengers, he’s her direct supervisor. #AvengersRapeCulture

 

**Christine Everhart @ChristineEverhart**

[photograph of Steve Rogers with his arm around Wanda Maximoff’s shoulders.They are standing in the main living room of the Avengers’ compound, leaning towards each other, their heads touching.]

Here’s Rogers with 19 year old Wanda Maximoff at the Avengers’ compound in upstate New York. #AvengersRapeCulture

 

**Christine Everhart @ChristineEverhart**

[photograph of Steve Rogers sitting on a muted purple bedspread next to a crosslegged Wanda Maximoff.They appear to be gazing intently at each other.]

That’s Wanda’s bed they’re sitting on.Why is her boss in her bedroom? #AvengersRapeCulture

 

**Christine Everhart @ChristineEverhart**

[photograph of Steve Rogers and Wanda Maximoff, holding hands.They are standing on a grass lawn with a stand of trees in the background.]

Maximoff may believe their relationship is consensual, but it can’t be while Rogers is her boss. #AvengersRapeCulture

 

**Christine Everhart @ChristineEverhart**

[photograph of Wanda Maximoff leaning up to kiss Steve Rogers’ cheek.They are standing in the same park as the previous photograph.]

Steve Rogers is taking advantage of Wanda Maximoff’s youth & naivety.He’s no better than Roy Moore. #AvengersRapeCulture

 

**Christine Everhart @ChristineEverhart**

It makes you wonder why there are any women on the Avengers, much less the token two. #AvengersRapeCulture

 

**Christine Everhart @ChristineEverhart**

Do I need to remind anyone what we learned in the SHIELD infodump? For Natasha Romanov sex was part of the job. #AvengersRapeCulture

 

**Christine Everhart @ChristineEverhart**

Stark and Rogers are heroes? No. They’re just two more men using their power to take advantage of women #AvengersRapeCulture

 

**Christine Everhart @ChristineEverhart**

What about Thor?Did Viking rape culture arise from Asgardian example? #AvengerRapeCulture

 

**Christine Everhart @ChristineEverhart**

Share your stories of Avengers’ sexual harassment and misconduct with this hashtag: #AvengersRapeCulture

 

**Tony Stark @TonyStark**

.@ChristineEverhart brb saving the world no need to thank us #Avengers


	2. Steve F***s Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Steve is questioned about Christine Everhart's allegations of sexual misconduct, he opens up a whole new arena for the press to speculate on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops! edited 5/1/18 to correct one sentence and add another towards the end. I'm out of the habit of proofreading--Steve's not the only one who f***ed up this chapter! Sorry!

***

Steve didn’t have a twitter account, so he didn’t hear about #AvengersRapeCulture until Natasha texted him with a heads up.He barely had time to read the tweets before explosions rocked the Sancta Santorum in both New York and Hong Kong, and the Chinese government agreed to allow the Avengers to act on Chinese soil—as long as it wasn’t Tony.So Steve took Natasha, Clint, Sam, and Wanda to Hong Kong while Tony led the team back in New York.

By the time the news media caught up to him, he hadn’t eaten or slept in two days. The Hong Kong Sanctum Santorum was safe, but the building to the south had collapsed.Over twenty people had died and dozens more were injured.

When the first reporter asked him about #AvengersRapeCulture instead of the rescue work, pissed off didn’t come close to expressing his feelings.A free press was essential to a healthy democracy.Steve had a lot of respect for the fourth estate.But he veered between admiration for an intrepid media and disdain for the tactics some used.He never did like bullies, and sometimes journalists crossed that line.

And the priorities of the modern media were so skewed.He had a hard time maintaining respect when he was treated like a celebrity.He understood being in the news because of what the Avengers did.What he wore when he went to pick up coffee wasn’t news and neither were articles like “Which Avenger has the Best Body?”

(Steve wouldn’t have even noticed the story, but Thor won by a landslide, so they all heard about it.)

He didn’t like it when reporters pursued their own agendas instead of trying to be fair, either.Journalists had the right to publish the news as they saw it, but when they only wanted to undermine the Avengers, he didn’t have to like it.

Christine Everhart in particular was already on his shit list for the things she had said about Wanda.When she shoved her microphone in his face, he clenched his jaw so hard it hurt.

The smart thing to do would have been to say “No comment,” but when did he ever keep his mouth shut because it was the smart thing to do?

 

***

 

Bucky was in New York covering Stark’s ass instead of at Steve’s six where he belonged, so he didn’t hear what Steve had said until that evening. Steve was stubborn, so he kept insisting Stark needed Bucky’s backup more than he did, but Stark was stubborn too.He wasn’t going to forgive Bucky for killing his parents no matter how many times Bucky saved his life.He probably resented him more for it.Try telling that to Steve, though.

The Avengers had regrouped at HQ for the sit-rep but been distracted by the news.Steve’s bungling of the press conference was on every channel.The Sancta Santorum attacks were barely a footnote.

As soon as Bucky saw Steve cock his head that way at Christine Everhart, he knew Steve was going to say something stupid.Next time he was going with Steve if he had to stowaway on the Quinjet to do it.He might not be able to shut Steve up in time, but at least he could chew him out right away instead of six hours later.

“Captain Rogers!Captain Rogers!According to WHIH World News sources, you met with notorious terrorist Quake on your recent trip to California, a meeting that apparently included an overnight hotel stay.We know how close you are with Wanda Maximoff, the dangerous enhanced individual also known as Scarlet Witch.What do you have to say to allegations that you have been seeking out young enhanced women & using their vulnerability to prosecution under the Sokovia Accords to prey on them sexually?”

Uh oh.That look in Steve’s eye meant trouble.How that lady reporter couldn’t tell, Bucky had no idea.

“I have the greatest respect for both of those young ladies,” Steve said.“Our relationships are purely professional.”

“Captain Rogers, we have photographs of you embracing Wanda Maximoff,” Everhart said.She gestured to her camera man, who handed a couple of pictures to SHIELD staff, who passed them on to Steve.He glanced at them briefly and set his jaw.

“This was taken on Miss Maximoff’s birthday,” he said.“We had a short conversation about her twin brother, who died a hero of the battle of Sokovia.Nothing untoward took place.Wanda and I are close, but I’m a lot older than she is.”He paused.“I have never been a fan of the Accords; if you recall, I didn’t sign them initially.So I’m not sure why you’d think I would use an agreement I didn’t approve of to—what?Threaten young women with imprisonment if they didn’t do me sexual favors?”

“You have a history of sexually harassing women you work with,” Everhart insisted.“According to a former SHIELD source, you asked out the agent assigned to your protection detail during your employment there.”

Steve’s face turned red.

“I didn’t know she worked for SHIELD,” he stuttered.“And she turned me down.Nothing happened.”

Everhart’s cameraman passed over another photo.

“That’s you, kissing Natasha Romanov,” Everhart said.

She was so smug a guy could have seen it from space.

Steve looked blindsided.

“How did you get this picture?” he blurted out.He took a breath and recovered some, but he still looked rattled. “This isn’t what it looks like.We were under cover, on the run from Hydra.I would never take advantage of anyone like that, whether I worked with them or not,” Steve said.“If I did, Bucky would probably shoot me.”

“By Bucky, you mean James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter Soldier?” another reporter asked.“Your childhood friendship is a matter of public record, but he’s a known terrorist.Was he pardoned and allowed to become an Avenger based on your relationship with him?”

His voice stayed calm, but Steve got that look on his face—the one that meant he wanted to hit somebody.

“Respectfully, my relationship with James Barnes is nobody’s business but ours,” he said.“We’re done here.The Avengers may be news, but my private life is off limits.”

There was a millisecond of complete silence from the press before the clamoring started up, louder and more excited than before.

“Captain, are you saying that you’re gay and in a romantic relationship with Bucky Barnes?”

Steve escaped behind the perimeter while he could.

Safely away from the cameras, Clint turned to Natasha.

“Does he know what that sounded like?” he asked.

“My money’s on no,” she replied.“This is going to be interesting.”

 

 


	3. Bucky Fixes It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky doesn't so much fix Steve's problem as make it ~~worse~~ different.

***

“It does my heart good to see someone else screw themselves so badly live on national television,” Tony said.

“Not helping, Tony,” Pepper chided.

“Cheer up,” Natasha said.“Maybe aliens will invade New York again.”

Steve glared.

“Ignore it,” Clint said.“It’ll pass.”He shrugged.“Eventually.”

“I can’t stop ‘em,” Steve said brusquely.“It wouldn’t make a difference anyway.I can deny it but no one will care.They’ll believe whatever they want.”

“Really.The schadenfreude is beautiful,” Tony said.

Pepper smiled tensely.“You don’t have to deal with it,” she told Steve.“Someone else can make a statement on your behalf.That’s why we have PR people.”

“No, please,” Tony smirked.“Go on Fox News.Tell them exactly what you think.I beg you.”

Steve gritted his teeth.Tony could be such an asshole.How an amazing lady like Pepper Potts put up with him was a mystery.

This was Everhart’s job, he reminded himself.Censorship of the press was the death of democracy.He was a public figure, so they had a right to cover whatever stupid comment he made.It was up to him to keep his mouth shut or deal with the fall out.

He’d never been good at keeping his mouth shut.

Only he was pretty sure whatever he might say would make it worse.Damn reporters would twist the most innocuous thing into something sordid.

Christine Everhart was making a spectacle out of nothing and sensible people would know it.She had some ugly history with Tony, but Steve had nothing to do with it.

Bucky was his best friend.He’d been through enough.Nobody had the right speculate about him this way.

“Look at this,” Tony crowed.“Friday, project the twitter scroll from my phone.”

Everyone turned to look.It was every picture ever taken of him and Bucky that could possibly be misinterpreted.Every word he’d ever said about what Bucky meant to him.People tweeting about how it was all a liberal media hoax or how wonderful it was he’d come out like that and it inspired them to do the same and it was moving fast.Everyone in the entire Twitterverse seemed to have something to say about his love life.If they only knew.

Oh Christ.

“C’mon Cap,” Tony said.“Inquiring minds want to know.”Steve clenched his fists.If Tony didn’t shut his mouth, he was going to shut it for him.

Pepper tried valiantly to suppress her giggle.“I’m not sure any journalist will resist asking who tops when it’s trending on Twitter, but there are a few people saying it’s not anyone’s business.”

“Not many,” Tony snickered.“More who want to know about role play in the bedroom.”He smirked at Bucky as he stood way on the other side of the room, his back to the wall, looking bored.“It’s that Winter Soldier uniform.All those straps.”

“No, don’t read that one.” Pepper ineffectually tried to cover one of the tweets with her hands.“Friday, take it down.Take it _down_ , Friday.”She waited until the projection was gone before turning back to Steve.“I think it’s best you don’t comment.Lay low and let one of our publicists release a short statement.No one expects you to know how to navigate the twenty-four hour news cycle.”

“I don’t think a written statement will be enough,” Natasha said.“I’m sorry, Steve.I don’t think the press will let this go without an interview.Barring aliens, anyway.”

Pepper grimaced as she nodded.“You’re right, but who’s going to give that interview?Steve absolutely can’t.”She raised her had before Steve could open his mouth.“I’m sorry, Steve, but you shouldn’t.It’s too likely you’ll lose your temper.”

 

***

Bucky resisted burying his face in his hands.Jesus Christ.Pepper Potts handled Stark just fine.You’d think she’d know how to handle Steve better than that.Steve was squaring his shoulders like he was about to do something stupid, and they were all just letting him.Maybe they didn’t know how bad this could be?He’d messed up that press conference, but he’d been ready to talk about the attacks on the Sanctum in Hong Kong.He hadn’t been ready to defend himself against some made up harassment shit.

Steve could give speeches that would inspire the most hardened cynic.He said what he believed and he made you believe it, too.

He was _also_ a little shit who could provoke a saint with that tongue of his.There was a reason he’d been in three times as many fights as any other guy in Brooklyn, and it wasn’t just that he always stood up for the right thing.

Bucky closed his eyes. _Lord, help me._

“I’ll do it,” he said.The Avengers turned to him with surprise.Fair enough.He avoided reporters like they had the Winter Soldier’s codes in their back pockets, ready to spring.As far as he knew, some of them might; but taking care of threats to Steve was what he did.He smiled his best “you’re a shit, Steve” smile.“It makes sense.I’m apparently the guy you’re dating.”Steve opened his mouth to protest, and Bucky’s smile widened. “Don’t start with me, punk.You know if you open your mouth, you’re gonna start a fight, and it’s not even the kind of fight you like.”Steve closed his mouth without saying a word, and Bucky turned to Pepper.“I’m not giving an interview to Christine Everhart, though.A gal from _Frontline_ sent me an email a while ago.I’ll talk to her.”He directed his attention back to Steve.“If you trust me to do it.”

After a long moment, Steve nodded, and the tension in the room dissipated.Pepper Potts rewarded Bucky with a smile that was small on her mouth but lit up her sweet blue eyes like cornflowers.He’d always had a soft spot for pretty ladies with blue eyes.He fought down a blush.

It got a lot easier to do when he caught a glimpse of Natalia smirking out of the corner of his eye.Well, shit.Looked like Steve wasn’t the guy getting played here after all.He _knew_ Pepper Potts was smarter than that.

It hurt.He’d spent fifty years being manipulated in the worst ways, and he didn’t appreciate anyone trying it, no matter how pretty they were.But he’d already said he’d do it, and he wasn’t going back on that.

He took a deep breath and turned to look out the window.He was the best guy for it anyway.She was right about Steve losing his temper.

As they dispersed for the night, Natalia quietly pulled him aside, her face solemn.

“I’ll say something to her,” she said.

“You don’t have to protect me,” he told her.

“I know,” she said.“And you don’t have to protect Steve.But that’s what friends do.”

He raised his brow.“Are we friends, Natalia?”

“I’m your friend.”She shrugged.“You have to decide how you feel for yourself.”

It was a few moments before he could say anything without his voice giving him away, but she held his gaze the whole time.Finally, she patted his arm like he was a little kid and moved away.Bucky stared at the carpet and practiced deep breathing exercises.

When he looked up, Steve was watching him, sad and serious and earnest.Bucky flipped him off and followed Natalia into the elevator.He had an intrepid lady reporter to talk to if they wanted that interview in tomorrow’s paper.

***

Sally Floyd had dark hair tousled almost to the point of bedhead and shadows under her eyes, but those eyes were still sharp.She’d seemed understanding enough from her email, but she could have fooled him.Bucky hoped she wasn’t a shark like Everhart. He used to be able to bullshit like a pro, but he was out of practice.If she started in on Steve, this wasn’t going to go so well.

They’d agreed to meet at an all-night coffee shop over in Hell’s Kitchen.Bucky thought that was a good sign. Christine Everhart wouldn’t have set foot in the place.

She had a photographer with her.That, he wasn’t so crazy about.

“Did you have time to go over the list of questions I sent you?” she asked him.

Bucky shrugged.“Stick to me and Steve, we’ll be fine.Mention the Winter Soldier and this interview’s over.”He softened his words with his best grin, but he wasn’t sure if it worked.He hadn’t grinned much since, oh…1943, probably.

“That’s what we agreed,” she said.“I wouldn’t spring something else on you.I’m not that kind of journalist.”

He nodded and stayed quiet, waiting for her first question.

She started recording and lobbed him a softball.

“Earlier today the world was shocked when Captain Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America, stated that the two of you were in a relationship.He wasn’t willing to say more than that.Why are you?”

_Here goes._

He brought out the grin again and started spinning the truth for all he was worth.

 

***

Steve usually asked Friday for a brief rundown on any news that had broken during the night while he had his first cup of coffee, but that morning he gulped his coffee silently before going out for a run.He wasn’t sure why he didn’t want to read Bucky’s interview, but it might have something to do with the guy who’d been there for all the most humiliating moments of his life talking to a nationally renowned journalist about how ridiculous the idea that they were dating was.It was a little nerve-wracking.

What really worried him was the possibility that Sally Floyd would portray Bucky as dangerous, unstable—Hydra’s brainwashed puppet who needed to be locked up or put down for everyone’s safety.That was what had kept him awake most of the night.

So:coffee, run, and only then would he read the potentially disastrous article about him and Bucky.

When he was back from his run, showered, changed, with a fresh cup of coffee in his hand, ready to face whatever the article said, he finally turned on his tablet.

The _Frontline_ headline read “I Dare You Not to Fall for Bucky Barnes.”He shook his head and relaxed.Only Bucky, that son of a bitch.

Then he read the article.

 

 

_Photographs can’t prepare you for Bucky Barnes.Whether you’ve seen the frankly terrifying videos of him as the Winter Soldier during the Hydra assault on SHIELD that shattered the Triskelion in 2013, or the photographs after he was arrested for the attack on the United Nations that killed, among others, King T’chaka of Wakanda (an attack later revealed to have been masterminded by a disgruntled Sokovian dark forces operative who framed Barnes to take the fall), which portray a tired, hopeless man—neither is an accurate reflection of the man who sits before me today._

_Even history buffs, familiar with photographs of Barnes as a young man, or the nearly five million visitors to the Smithsonian’s special exhibit honoring Captain Rogers after his rescue from Arctic ice might not recognize that young soldier in this man._

_There’s a certain group of Avengers fans who have cared less about government oversight and more about how nicely the uniforms flatter various heroic attributes.Asgardian Thor and Captain Rogers have garnered the greatest admiration, though each of the original Avengers—including the Hulk, more controversial even than Maximoff—has their fans.Newer, less famous Avengers also have their adherents.James Barnes hasn’t really registered with this group of admirers, and sitting across a table from him, I’m not sure why._

_This man may be the most beautiful man I’ve ever met, and I’ve met Warren Worthington III._

_Our photographer did his best to capture Barnes’ looks, but it’s harder to portray the follow up punch, though_ _Frontline_ _’s regular readers may have already realized it:James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes has the kind of charisma that can turn the most cynical reporter into a gushing fangirl._

_The Avengers have been controversial since their formation was made public in the Battle of New York.The addition of straight-shooters James Rhodes (code name: War Machine) and Sam Wilson (Falcon) to the Avengers’ ranks might have helped rehabilitate their image had not been for the simultaneous addition of infamous enhanced individual Wanda Maximoff (Scarlet Witch) and the mysterious figure known only by the code name Vision, first seen following the Sokovian tragedy. (_ _Vision’s origins remain classified.)_ _Captain Rogers’ initial refusal to sign the Sokovia Accords remains controversial as well._

_Perhaps that’s why Barnes’ addition to the team remained low profile until Captain Rogers inadvertently replaced one developing scandal—Christine Everhart of the WHiH’s charges that Rogers had a history of sexually harassing young women—with another.Is Captain America gay?_

_Rogers’ answer to a question regarding the position of the former Winter Soldier on the Avengers—“We’re done here. My private life is off limits.”—wasn’t what anyone expected, and the question of the day became:what is the nature of Steve Rogers’ relationship with James Barnes?_

_I first contacted James “Bucky” Barnes to ask for an interview when he surfaced in New York after receiving treatment for the lingering effects of Hydra’s brainwashing.He declined to speak to me at the time, and his time as the Winter Soldier remains off limits for this interview.His decision to speak to me now was prompted not by a desire to share his story, but to defend Captain Rogers. It is, it becomes apparent, a habit._

_SF:Did you know Captain Rogers intended to speak publicly about your relationship?_

_BB: (laughs) Not at all.I was as shocked as anyone._

_SF:His statement is vague, and some groups have leapt to claim that Captain Rogers didn’t intend to suggest a romantic relationship.Can you clarify the nature of your relationship?_

_BB:Steve was my best friend, before.I never expected more.My feelings about him started to change after Azzano…But it was wartime, and I was pretty messed up by what Hydra had done to me already, and it didn’t take a genius to tell how Steve felt about Peggy Carter.(He smiles wryly.)I had no reason to speak up._

_SF:And, of course, society viewed sexual preferences differently._

_BB:Steve never cared what people thought, only what he believed was right.If I’d thought I had a chance, I would have taken it._

_SF:But your relationship now is romantic._

_BB:(nods)Yeah._

_SF:When did things change for the two of you?_

 

_Barnes laughs, but there’s more pain than joy in the sound.He stares out the window of the diner where we’ve met, and for a time I fear he’s going to walk out on our interview before answering the question he came here to answer.After a few minutes he sighs and returns his attention to me.His smile is more of a grimace._

 

_BB:Hydra broke me down until I was nothing but a ghost with a gun.When I saw Steve again, in DC, I knew him.Didn’t know how, didn’t really know who he was, but I knew him.Couldn’t kill him no matter what my orders were._

_SF:If I remember correctly, Captain Rogers was seriously injured during the battle for control of the helicarrier._

_BB:(laughs) I did try.And something people these days don’t know about Steve, unless they’ve fought with him, maybe—he’s a punk._

_SF:Steve Rogers.Captain America.Hero, role model…Punk?_

_Barnes laughs, and for the first time it’s completely carefree.It transforms him, making his youthful reputation as a charmer all too believable._

_BB:Steve has a temper, doll.He likes a fight, especially when he’s outnumbered or wrong-footed.Doesn’t mind getting in your face and does not give up when he thinks he’s right.And he always thinks he’s right.It’s infuriating._

_SF:Did you just call me doll?_

_Barnes sputters and blushes.I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but his bashful smile is even more charming than his wide grin._

_BB:I— Ma’am.I’m— I apologize._

_He tilts his head, and the winning grin comes back out._

_BB:The way you said that, before, about Steve…That tone in your voice reminded me of my sisters.No matter what I said, they never believed he got me into trouble instead of the other way ‘round.They thought he hung the moon._

_His grin turns wry as he meets my eyes._

_BB:I guess I always did too.Turns out he felt the same way.He never said anything because you didn’t then, but now…Now we can be together.(He pauses.)He’s the love of my life._

 

 

Steve carefully set his tablet down before busting into Bucky’s room.Bucky was still in bed but woke immediately.Steve ducked the knife he threw.It imbedded itself in the door.

“For Christ’s sake, knock, would ya?” Bucky asked, sitting up.

Steve rolled his eyes.“If you’d wanted to hurt me, you’d have followed up.”He crossed his arms.“You told her we were dating.”

“Problem?” Bucky asked.“Did I ruin your straight-shooting reputation?”

“Screw my reputation,” Steve replied tartly.“Before Christine Everhart the only reputation I had was as a guy who couldn’t find a date.Or maybe was too in love with Peggy Carter for any other woman to measure up.”He crossed over to sit on the bed and sighed.“You lied, Buck.”

“Hell I did,” Bucky said.“I’ve adored you since the day you told the Army to fuck off and ran to my rescue.”He smiled that shit-eating grin and fluttered his eyelashes.

“Right,” Steve said.“Was it the muscles or that I was finally taller than you?”

“It was the uniform,” Buck said.“The tights sealed the deal.”

Steve lay down and closed his eyes.

“What are we supposed to do now?” Steve asked.“Pretend?Maybe hold hands when we go to baseball games?”

“We’ll make time after battles,” Bucky said.“Your new call sign is going to be ‘Captain That Ass Tho.’”

Silence fell.

“You lied to her,” Steve said again.“How is that helping?”

Bucky sighed and gently pushed Steve aside so he could get out of bed.

“Remember when you said denying it wasn’t going to make it go away?” he asked.“You were right.This makes it a story, but it’s a story with a little bit of scandal and a nice, happy ending. It ties up all the loose ends and answers all the questions.”He pulled a shirt over his head.“You weren’t harassing anyone; why would you?You’ve got the love of your life right here.” He raised his eyebrows suggestively and grinned again.“There’ll be a big brouhaha about you being gay that will last five minutes, and then it’ll all go away.”

“Uh huh,” Steve said.He pushed up on his elbows and frowned at Bucky.“You know I’ll have to give interviews, right? You set me up.Either I say you lied, in which case there are no neatly tied up answers and that nice lady journalist’s reputation is ruined; or I have to lie, too.”He sighed.“It’s not even that I have to lie, because nobody has the right to poke their nose into other peoples’ bedrooms so I don’t have a lot of qualms about saying whatever will get the press off my back about this.But I don’t lie well, Buck.You know this.”

Buck sat down next to him.“I’m not hanging you out to dry,” he said.“I’ll be there and I’ll say whatever has to be said and you just nod.Maybe hold my hand if you feel up to it.”He got up to shuck his pajama pants and pull on a pair of jeans.“But don’t do anything you don’t feel comfortable with.I wouldn’t want you to feel sexually harassed.”

Steve snorted and sat up.“Jerk.”

“Punk,” Buck replied unhesitatingly.

 

Maybe it would be okay after all, Steve thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those not familiar with the X-Men comics, Warren Worthington III is supposed to be blue-eyed, blond, all the trimmings including _pure white feathery wings_. As far as muscular blue-eyed blonds go, I'm hopelessly biased in Cap's favor; but to give you an idea, Warren Worthington's X-Men name is Angel. He's _pretty_.
> 
> Sally Floyd is Marvel comics canon and a hot mess. I like her.


	4. Fake It Till You Make It

Steve was right about the interviews.Pepper decided he had to do at least two, and he could choose from a short list for the second interview—but first he had to go on Anderson Cooper and that was non-negotiable.Bucky could go with him; she thought that was a great idea.But Steve was worried.Anderson Cooper was smart and perceptive.Gay himself, Pepper had reminded him.Steve didn’t need the reminder.Cooper was always well groomed, always sharply dressed, handsome…He was the ideal gay man.

Whereas Steve…He tried to stay clean and neat, but he was always going to be more comfortable in a uniform than a suit. Fashion icon he was not.He was thankful Pepper had overruled Tony’s suggestions for changing his style to something more “Kinsey two,” whatever that might look like.

Still, Steve knew Cooper was going to take one look at him and think _Liar.The only thing gay about that man is how nervous he gets asking a woman on a date._ He was going to politely, relentlessly peel away every untruth until Steve and Bucky were exposed as conniving liars conspiring to deceive the American public.His relationship with Wanda would be under sharper scrutiny than ever and the rest of the Avengers would be as well.

“You’re overreacting,” Bucky said.

“I didn’t say anything,” Steve replied sharply.

Bucky just leaned back on the green room coach and looked at him.

Steve groaned.

“Cooper’s a class act,” Bucky said.

“That’s the problem,” Steve said.

The side of Bucky’s mouth quirked up in a smile.

“Don’t tell me you’re scared of a little guy from Manhattan,” he said.“Pretty sure you can take him.”

“It’s not a back alley street fight,” Steve said.He crossed his arms and glared.

Bucky started snickering.

“What.”

“Nothing,” Bucky said innocently.Too innocently.“Sit down, would ya?”

That was when the production assistant stuck her head in the room.

“We’re ready for you,” she said.

“What if I’m not ready?” Steve asked.He was only half joking.

Bucky rolled his eyes and stood.

“C’mon, punk,” he said.“Time to sell war bonds.”

***

Steve came out of the shower to find Bucky lounging on his bed.

“That was a disaster,” he said.“Since when do you freeze up when a guy puts his arm around your shoulders?”

“I was surprised,” Steve said.

“I’ve done it a million times.”Buck’s voice was irritated.

“Yeah, before,” Steve said.“It’s different now and you know it.”

Bucky shrugged.

“So I’m out of the habit,” he said.He narrowed his eyes at Steve.“It’s like riding a bike.I didn’t forget how to do it.You had no reason to flinch.”

“I didn’t flinch,” Steve said.He might have said that a little loud.He lowered his voice.“You surprised me, that’s all.”

“You flinched,” Buck said.He sat up.“We talked about this.If we’re going to sell this, people are going to expect us to touch.”

“Why can’t we say we’re private people?” Steve asked.“Not everyone hugs in public.”

“Maybe not, but you did hug Wanda and Daisy and kiss Natasha, and Christine Everhart has the photos to prove it,” Buck replied.He’d crossed over from irritated into exasperated.“That’s how you got into hot water, remember?”

“I didn’t know anyone was watching,” Steve said hotly.“And _they_ hugged _me_.”He crossed the room to the dresser and grabbed an undershirt and a pair of briefs.He wasn’t doing this in a towel.“I hate how people have made everything so dirty.And it’s all public.I don’t like having an audience for everything I do.”

Bucky let him get dressed in silence.

“Say it,” Steve said.

“Just enjoying the view,” Buck smirked.

“You gotta do that?” Steve asked shortly.

Buck narrowed his eyes.“Making you uncomfortable?” he asked.

“Yes!” Steve said.“Would you stop pretending?This isn’t who we are!”He sighed and sat down next to Bucky.“I know you were trying to help, but we never should’ve done this.”He swallowed hard before continuing quietly.“You’re the one guy who knows me from before the serum.When you do that, it’s like you’re looking at the dancing monkey instead of me.”

Bucky blinked at him.

“Did you just ask me not to objectify you?”

Steve sighed.

“Would it help to know that I always thought it was a shame no girl ever had eyelashes as long as yours?” Bucky asked.“Scout’s honor.”

“No, it wouldn’t,” he said.“You know what was the best thing about Peggy?Besides, I mean, everything about her, but—she saw me before.She saw me, not my muscles.But Peggy’s gone. And I have friends now, but every one of them knew me as Captain America before they got to know Steve Rogers.I need you to be the guy who sees me first.Who knows Captain America is just a suit.”

Bucky was quiet.

“You want to know what I thought, when I saw you after the serum?” he asked.“After I got past you volunteering for an insane science experiment?”

Steve nodded.

“I felt relieved.I thought, ‘Thank God he’s going to be okay.I don’t have to worry about him anymore.’I was happy to see you like that—tall and strong and _healthy_.You could still get into trouble—you could get into a lot more trouble than before.But you could handle it.I remember how much you hated when your body couldn’t keep up with your heart, and then it could, and you loved it.Yeah, everybody could see you, but what did that get you but wearing tights and selling war bonds?People don’t follow you for your pretty face or nice ass, Steve.They follow _you_.”Asperity entered his voice. “And I hate to burst your bubble, but if you think Peggy Carter didn’t appreciate the new packaging, you’re dumber than you look.”

Steve laughed half-heartedly.“That’s pretty dumb.”

“I know,” Buck said.He paused.“You ready, pal?I’m going to put my arm around you.Try not to flinch.”

Steve turned and wrapped his arms tight around Bucky and clung.Bucky’s arms were just as tight.

“I need you, asshole,” he whispered.“You died on me.And then you didn’t know me.You didn’t know yourself.Nothing was ever harder.”

Bucky’s voice was quiet.

“You got me.”

Steve could have stayed like that forever.When they finally let go, he felt like something was missing.

***

The next day, after Pepper spent the entire morning tactfully suggesting Steve do his next interview on NPR so he didn’t need to be so aware of his body language, Bucky and Steve retreated for lunch on their own.Steve tried to explain better.

“When I first came out of the ice, after the aliens, Natasha pulled me aside and told me it was weird to call her ‘ma’am’ and I’d better learn what was normal these days because so many things had changed and she didn’t think SHIELD was going to worry about it.So I did, and I liked most of what I learned.Things aren’t perfect, but…Women have a lot more choices than they did.Guys can fall in love with guys or girls go with girls and nobody has to hide.They can get married, even, if they want.I love that stupid phone Tony gave me.”He pointed at Bucky.“Don’t tell him that.”He sighed.“Some things are easy to adjust to, but some things aren’t.”He’d been looking at his hands, but now he looked up to meet Bucky’s eyes.He smiled wryly.“I might think something’s great for other people but it doesn’t mean I’m comfortable with it for myself.”

Bucky waited until Steve sighed and continued.

“There’s this space that doesn’t get crossed,” he said.“People don’t touch Captain America.”

“Aside from pretty young ladies,” Buck pointed out.He grinned.“Shame they don’t know any better.”

“They treat me like an uncle,” Steve said.“Or an older brother.That’s the way I feel about Wanda.Like she’s my little sister.After Christine Everhart accused me of harassing Wanda and Daisy, I started to worry that I’d gotten it wrong.I asked Wanda if I’d offended her and she laughed at me.Daisy told me she already had a father figure and if I wasn’t sure what was a hug and what was harassment, she knew a few people who’d be happy to do some role play with me, herself included.And then she said she’d just sexually harassed me so now we were even.”

His stomach churned when he thought of people seeing his friendship with Wanda as something sordid.“I’m not comfortable with anyone else.Not even you, I guess.And thinking about faking it makes it worse.”

Bucky shrugged.

“Easy problem to fix,” he said.

“Sure,” Steve said.“Easy.”

Bucky looked at him.“Yeah, it is,” he said.“Yesterday, we hugged.” He gestured Steve over.“Today we hold hands.We’ll be fake canoodling by the end of the week.”

“I just said I’m not comfortable with that,” Steve said.Bucky raised an eyebrow.

“Exactly,” Bucky said.He smirked.“So how do you think you’ll get comfortable?”

“This _is_ sexual harassment, jerk,” Steve groaned and sat next to Bucky.“Where is Christine Everhart when you need her?”Bucky wiggled his fingers at Steve.

“Chicken,” he said.

“Oh, fuck you,” Steve said and grabbed Bucky’s hand.

They sat there for a few minutes, holding hands.Buck’s hand was warm.He had a callus on his trigger finger that was a little dry and scratchy.This was just Bucky.It was just holding hands.Steve tried to relax.

He couldn’t manage it.All his nerves were sensitized, everywhere their skin touched.He had never been more aware of his hand in his life.He turned his head to look at Bucky.

“This doesn’t feel strange to you?” he asked.

Buck shifted to meet his gaze.His mouth quirked.“Nothing strange about holding hands with my best guy.”He traced his thumb against Steve’s, his grin fading slowly.Involuntarily Steve held his breath.After a moment he realized it wasn’t just Bucky touching him. Their thumbs were circling each other, touching so lightly, softly.

He was touching back.

He didn’t want to stop.

“It’s making me jumpy,” he admitted.“I don’t think I could do it if anybody else was here.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Bucky asked softly.“You’re nervous as a cat.”He let go of Steve’s hand.

“It’s not because you’re a guy,” Steve said.“I’d be jumpy if you were a girl, too.”

“So you’re equal opportunity hopeless,” Buck smirked, then his smile faded.“Some is because I’m a guy, I bet.”

“Less than I might have thought,” Steve said.“Holding hands isn’t so bad.”

“You want to get more advanced?” Buck asked.“I’m game.We can skip a couple steps.”

“Are you trying to help me out here or are we playing gay chicken?” Steve shot back.“This is wrong.We’re lying and I don’t like it.”

They sat in silence.

“So what do you wanna do?” Buck asked.“We don’t have to do this.”

Steve sighed.“I think we’re stuck.”

“One thing a therapist in my PTSD recovery program says,” Buck said.“Fake it ‘till you make it.”The corner of his mouth quirked.“Don’t think about it as lying.Think about it as practice.”

Steve thought about that for a while.

“Selling war bonds got easier after I’d done it a time or two,” he said.“Maybe practice isn’t a bad idea.”

“The Cyclones are playing Staten Island tonight,” Steve said.“We could go to a baseball game.Have a hot dog.”He took Buck's hand again.“Hold hands with my best guy.”It was funny.He felt as nervous and breathless as if he were asking someone out on a real date.It was just Bucky, and odd and uncomfortable as this was, Bucky had his back.

“You up to that?” Buck asked. 

“Fake it ‘till you make it,” Steve replied.

“People have phones at minor league games, too,” Buck reminded him.“It’s going to get out there.”

“You said it,” Steve said.“People are going to expect us to hold hands in public, maybe more.Might as well have baseball to make up for it.”

“You really know how to make a fake boyfriend feel special,” Bucky said.

***

 

**Beth Johnson @CapFan4Ever**

[picture of Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, wearing matching navy baseball hats, seated next to each other in a stadium.They are holding hands and smiling at each other.]

OMG I saw Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes at MCU Park LN! They were so into each other! Compared to Steve hugging Wanda, the diff is obvious.

 

**Beth Johnson @CapFan4Ever**

I met Cap b4 the battle of NY when he would get coffee at the diner where I work.He always seemed so sad.And btw:a perfect gentleman.

 

**Beth Johnson @CapFan4Ever**

You can tell Cap & Sgt Barnes are so happy together & I’m happy for them!They deserve it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you thought in the first part of the chapter, while Steve & Bucky are waiting in Anderson Cooper 360's green room, that Bucky is snickering because he's picturing skinny Steve and his trashcan lid fighting on Anderson Cooper in a dirty Brooklyn alley...you were 110% right.


	5. Practice Makes Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky have a second interview with the press. Everyone learns something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really should proof this some more, but I wanted to post it yesterday & wasn't happy with it yet (I spent _hours_ yesterday reading George Chauncey's _Gay in New York_ to refresh my memory about the vocabulary used in the 1930s  & 40s to describe different ways men who engaged in homosexual behavior at the time identified, and then I was distracted and kept reading long after I had my answer--which was all in service of one, maybe two paragraphs in this chapter.
> 
> *face palm*
> 
> I hope the formatting of the first part of this chapter doesn't bother you--this is how NPR formats the transcripts of their radio interviews, so I thought I'd do it the same way. Lulu Garcia-Navarro is a real person, who really hosts Weekend Edition Sunday, and I think she's awesome. I like to think that given the opportunity, she'd love to interview these two!
> 
> And lastly don't you think debwalsh has waited long enough? So here's the final chapter, and it may be a bit rough, but I'm sure I'll be back later to search out my mistakes. I apologize if you get here before I do!

***

 

LULU GARCIA-NAVARRO, HOST

I’m Lulu Garcia-Navarro, host of Weekend Edition Sunday on NPR, and my guests today are Captain Steve Rogers and Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.As Captain America, Steve Rogers has been the hero of past generations of Americans, and as one of the founding Avengers, he has become the hero of an entirely new generation, of Americans and around the world.Sergeant Barnes was his second in command of the Howling Commandos during World War Two, believed lost in battle, until a few years ago it was revealed that he had been Hydra’s prisoner of war, hidden within the Russian Army and SHIELD.Born in 1918 and 1917 respectively, they are the oldest Avengers—though they certainly don’t look it.Earlier this week, their private lives became eminently public due to remarks Captain Rogers made during a press conference following the attack on the Hong Kong Sanctum Santorum.

ROGERS

(recording)Respectfully, my relationship with James Barnes is nobody’s business but ours.We’re done here.The Avengers may be news, but my private life is off limits.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

They join us in our New York studio.Thank you so much for being here.

ROGERS

Thank you.

BARNES

Great to be here.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

Captain Rogers, you didn’t want to speak publicly about your relationship with Sergeant Barnes.

ROGERS

No.It was an accident.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

An accident?

ROGERS

I’ve accepted that being in the public sphere means being in the news.But everyone deserves a private life.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

Why not deny the allegations that you harassed women you work with—primarily Wanda Maximoff—without disclosing your relationship with Sergeant Barnes?

BARNES

When he gets mad enough, he stops thinking about what’s smart and gets pissy.

ROGERS

It wasn’t smart, that’s for sure.Some enhanced individuals have friends or family who would be vulnerable if their identities were exposed. Tony Stark can tell you what that’s like. I never wanted that target on Bucky’s back.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

Bucky—meaning Sergeant Barnes.

ROGERS

Yes.

BARNES

I’ve never been bothered by that. I can take care of myself.I liked having a low profile for other reasons.Hydra, mainly.I’ve killed a lot of people.I scare people.I didn’t want Steve to have to pay for my sins more than he already has.He’s just as good as you think he is.He shouldn’t be tainted by my shadow.

ROGERS

Buck.

BARNES

You’re the only one in the world who never wrote me off.And it cost you a lot.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

Captain Rogers, would you mind telling our listeners what just happened in the studio?

ROGERS

Jerk.Why do you do this to me? (pause) He kissed my hand.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

There’s quite a few staffers here, listening to this interview, and I think the entire room melted.And Captain Rogers, you’re blushing.

ROGERS

He’s always been smooth.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

And you’re the strong, silent type?

BARNES

(laughs) He’s the opposite of silent.I’m still surprised by what people’s expectations are of who Steve Rogers is.How do people these days not know you’re a mouthy punk?You’d think by now folks would have figured out the real Steve Rogers isn’t the legendary Captain America.They made that Cap up.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

It offends you.

BARNES

Yeah.People think they own him and they don’t even know who he is.General Phillips was the only one who knew what he was getting into with Steve, and that’s because he knew him before.

ROGERS

(laughs) General Phillips was so mad when they lost the serum.He said he didn’t need one man, he needed an army.I wasn’t enough.It took him a while to get over that.I would’ve gone to Azzano anyway, with or without his okay.But I might have been more polite about it.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

Are you saying your first mission, your rescue of the 107th from Azzano, wasn’t approved?

ROGERS

No.I went AWOL.I wasn’t more than a dancing monkey at the time, but General Phillips had refused to send anyone after them.I should have been court-martialed.If I got out of it alive, I expected it.

BARNES

There would’ve been a riot.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

You were completely alone and expected to return to a court martial?That’s a lot to risk.

ROGERS

I didn’t know if Bucky was still alive, but if he was…I couldn’t leave him there.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

Sergeant Barnes, you’ve said that when Captain Rogers rescued you from Azzano, that’s when you knew you loved him.

BARNES

(laughs)That’s what happens when Captain America shows up like a knight in shining armor!But to tell the truth, it wasn’t that he saved me at Azzano.It was after we got back to camp, and I saw Agent Carter and Steve staring at each other, all starry eyed.I was jealous as hell.At first I thought I was jealous of him, and then I realized mainly what I was thinking was “that’s _my_ little punk you’re looking at like that.”That’s when I knew.

ROGERS

Buck.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

You didn’t know, Captain?

ROGERS

I didn’t.

BARNES

I didn’t want you to know, then.It was the first thing I wanted to tell you once Hydra was out of my head. (laughs)I needed a lot of therapy before I could tell him, and even then, I was pretty terrible at it.I had to try a few times.Practice telling someone else first.We’ve never been good at talking about feelings.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

The reaction to the revelation of your relationship has been diverse, from calls for you to step down as Captain America to gratitude for your example.

ROGERS

It shouldn’t matter.A person should be judged for what they do, not who they love.When I first met Tony, I misjudged him because of what I’d read about him.I discounted what he’d done as Iron Man because of his controversial history.I’ve never made a bigger mistake.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

Tony Stark.

ROGERS

Yes.We’ve had our disagreements, but Tony Stark is a great man.Everything he does is based on his determination to protect people.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

Your most recent disagreement was when you split over the Sokovia Accords, which he supported and you didn’t.

BARNES

That was about me.

ROGERS

Tony and I disagreed about the value of oversight for enhanced individuals.It wasn’t about any one person—even you, Buck.I wasn’t willing to compromise anyone’s freedom because they might be dangerous.Tony believes we need to be accountable to someone for our actions.The other part was I could never stand by if I knew I could help.If I’d signed the Accords, I would have disobeyed the UN the first time they said we couldn’t get involved in a particular situation.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

But you have signed now.

ROGERS

Yes, after some compromises were made.A lot of my concerns were dealt with.Protections for individuals.And it’s important to stand together even when we disagree.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

What do you anticipate happening if the UN withholds permission to get involved in a particular situation in the future?

BARNES (laughs)

ROGERS

So far it hasn’t come to that.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

I’d like to go back to public reaction to the revelation you were dating.Captain, there have been calls for you to step down as Captain America.

ROGERS

I’m not asking for approval.It’s like I said before—people have a right to a private life.I don’t think it’s anyone else’s business.As far as stepping down goes…I’ve never claimed to be some kind of moral role model.Whether I’m Captain America or Steve Rogers, I’m going to make the same choices.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

So that’s a no on stepping down.

ROGERS

That’s a no.

BARNES

I wasn’t expecting how many people said hearing about Steve and me inspired them.That was incredible.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

Attitudes towards LGBT people have changed a lot since the 1930s and ‘40s, but New York City had several hot spots where gay culture thrived as well as communities in which gay people clustered, even before the turn of the century.I’m wondering how living in that time differs from now when it comes to relationships and sexual identity.

BARNES

A lot of people have the wrong idea about what it was like back then.For one thing, I never thought of myself as gay, not the way people mean it today.Still don’t.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

That’s not how you identify.

BARNES

No.Back then it was more about how you acted then who you went with.And gay— (pauses)I don’t want to offend anyone, but the language was different.We used words people don’t like anymore.But gay meant fairy.Dramatic, feminine, nancy…all of those things, and down by the Navy Yard— (laughs)There was a time we couldn’t go anywhere near the Navy Yard, or certain places in Prospect Park, because Steve drew too much attention.He never put on makeup or dresses, but he was the kind of punk some guys liked.Little and pretty.

ROGERS

Buck.

BARNES

From about fifteen on, I’d say, Steve took to wearing really baggy jackets.Couldn’t disguise that face, though.

ROGERS

Buck.

BARNES

Am I wrong?

ROGERS

The way I remember it, no one was interested, male or female.Maybe a few times guys would hassle me, but they were joking.

BARNES

No they weren’t.

ROGERS

Wolves like that would bother anybody they thought they could push around.I was small and mouthy so I made a good target.

BARNES

I’m not saying that’s a lie, but there were guys who liked you.Some of ‘em took no for an answer, and some needed a more forceful answer.And you were always looking for a fight, so…Some of those guys, it was like they were pulling your pigtails.They liked you.

ROGERS

Then they were about the only ones.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

Captain Rogers, if I may: we’ve heard from Sergeant Barnes, but not from you.When did you realize you were in love?

ROGERS

Well, I’ve always been a little dense.Took me longer than him.

(pause)

BARNES

Steve?

ROGERS

It was when Hydra captured me, after we fought on the bridge in DC.Bucky’s mask came off while we were fighting, and I froze.I’d thought I lost him, and there he was, and he didn’t know me.I felt sick.My whole world shifted.And I realized: I’d always loved him.

BARNES

Stevie.

ROGERS

Always.I don’t like making this public because I don’t owe that to anyone but Buck.He’s not wrong about me being terrible with feelings.I guess I’m learning from him.

GARCIA-NAVARRO

Thank you, Captain Rogers, and you, Sergeant Barnes.It’s been an honor.

ROGERS

You’re welcome.

BARNES

Thanks.

***

Bucky didn’t say anything until they turned onto 5th Avenue.

“Always, huh?” he said.“Since when—That time I made you ride the Cyclone?That time when we were eight and I talked you through an asthma attack in the middle of a kickball game?”

“I think it was the first time I tasted your mom’s apple pie,” Steve replied.

“I thought you didn’t like to joke about it,” Buck said.

“Who’s joking?” Steve asked.

Bucky looked at him—really looked—and then he pulled him down 43rd Street and into an alley.He dragged Steve out of sight before pushing him back against the wall.Steve let him.He wanted to laugh.Felt like he could fly.

“Hell of a way to tell a guy how you feel,” Buck said, his eyes bright.

“What can I say, I’m slow,” Steve said.“I got there eventually.Guess practice pays off.”He took Buck’s hand.They stood there for a while, hidden behind a dumpster, smiling at each other, then Buck’s smile took a wicked turn.

“Practice makes perfect,” he said.He pulled Steve back onto the street. They ran to Avengers Tower, holding hands all the way.

Steve didn’t remember running down the street or through the lobby of the Tower or anything except Bucky’s smile until they were in the elevator.He looked at Bucky and every inch of him shivered.He couldn’t look away.He stepped close and Bucky turned to face him.

“You remember that picture of Natasha and me kissing?” he asked.“Afterwards, she suggested I might be out of practice.”

“We should do that,” Bucky said breathlessly.“Practice.”

“Yeah,” Steve said.He leaned in.

They kissed their way out of the elevator, into their apartment, until they were on the sofa.

“What else do you need to practice?” Buck asked.

“What did you have in mind?” Steve asked.“I don’t want to harass you or anything.”

“Oh, go ahead,” Buck said.“Harass away.”He pulled Steve down on top of him and they were kissing and Steve lost himself in Bucky’s mouth again. He didn’t know when he started to rock down into Bucky but at some point realized that’s what he was doing.He couldn’t—They needed to stop for a moment and talk about what they were doing or he wasn’t going to stop at all.He pulled away.

“Bucky,” he said.“Buck—“

“Don’t think,” Buck told him.Somehow he worked his hand between them. _Jesus_.

“S’good,” he managed.

“That, you can think,” Buck said.

“We need to talk about this,” he repeated.

“You don’t think we’ve waited long enough?” Buck asked. 

I don’t want to push you into doing something you don’t want,” he said.

Bucky smiled at him, wide and devilish.“I want everything, Steve.There’s nothing I don’t want.”

“Well I just realized half an hour ago that I wanted this,” Steve said.“So I might need to take it slower than than that.”

“Look at you, using your words.”Bucky’s teasing smile faded, and he pulled his hand out from between them.“How slow are you thinking?”

“That’s the problem,” he replied.“I can’t think when we’re kissing.”He could feel the blood rising to his face.“More might be…”He stroked the side of Bucky’s face, gentle, reverent.“I don’t know how to do this.I’m faking it.”

Bucky smiled and turned his face to kiss Steve’s palm.

“Fake it ‘till we make it?” he asked.

“That okay?” Steve asked.

“Yeah,” Bucky said. “It could take practice, you know.Lots of practice.”

Steve smiled at him.“That sounds good,” he said.“I love to practice.”

**Author's Note:**

>  In the comments on chapter one, maybe you could comment as if you were responding to the tweets between Christine Everhart and Tony? So we could build the twitter war right into the comments on the fic. Audience participation for the win!
> 
> [my tumblr](https://salviag.tumblr.com)


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